The story ends suddenly. Poor Douglas is dead and Slam is left with the ghost! What happens next?

Does Douglas become a real ghost?

The other ghost has tried to frighten Slam before and failed; what does it do now?

What will Slam do now that he has lost his brother who used to work and earn all the money?

Using the same characters continue the story. Start like this:

Slam dropped his bottle. It smashed into a thousand fragments on the stony lane. Slam didn’t notice. He stared at the sight of his brother, wrapped in a white sheet, lying still at the bottom of the steep bank. Then something very strange began to happen.

WAGOLL

Slam dropped his bottle. It smashed into a thousand fragments on the stony lane. Slam didn’t notice. He stared at the sight of his brother, wrapped in a white sheet, lying still at the bottom of the steep bank. Then something very strange began to happen. Groaning softly, Douglas’s body began to rise as if it was being lifted by an invisible puppeteer. Slam stared wordlessly, horrified, as the body dangled in mid air. Suddenly, it planted its feet on the ground and jerked upright. Its bloodshot red eyes popped open and Slam gasped. He felt as if all his breath had been pulled out of him. There was a streak of clashing lightening and to Slam’s right a heavy gravestone was being pushed slowly to the side. The tips of green fingers crept over the edge of the hole. They gripped into the hard dirt and hauled up a zombified body onto the grass. Soundlessly, more bodies rose out of graves in the same way and surrounded Slam, leaving him trapped in the center.
“You don’t want me. I’m only a stupid drunkard,” Slam moaned. But the zombies weren’t listening, they already had hold of Slam’s throat. Shaking him, they slammed him into a grave and before he could speak or move they pushed the gravestone over him.
Minutes later, the gravestone was again pushed away as Slam clambered out…….with bloodshot eyes, just like his brother….

Great work Freya, excellent use of adverbials. Appropriate use of ellipsis to build suspense in this context. Well done Freya. Prize Box.

A spirit rose up out of Douglas and next to the other ghost. They both whooooed in harmony. Slam started down the road and occasionally he bumped into a lamppost – because of his drunkenness – and the ghosts pursued him. Slam was just around the corner when he slipped in a puddle of water and hit his head. Wearily Slam picked himself up and continued towards his house and made it through the door. Thinking he was safe Slam slouched down in a chair and sighed. Slam’s mother burst through her bedroom door and into the living room when the ghosts shot through the wall.

Slam dropped his bottle. It smashed into a thousand fragments on the stony lane. Slam didn’t notice. He stared at the sight of his brother, wrapped in a white sheet, lying still at the bottom of the steep bank. Then something very queer began to happen. Suddenly, as Slam stared in horror, a ghoulish monster arose from the dead body of Douglas. Slam turned and ran but the blood-curdling, heart-stopping phantom sped after him. With the two ghosts in hot pursuit, Slam bulleted down the old cobbled lane, screaming “AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!” as he went. Just then, running wildly, Slam tripped over some tree roots and went tumbling over. His head hit the cobbles and cracked open. Poor old Slam, that was the end of him!

Great ending Samuel, you have imitated the author’s style. You have found the perfect pace for your ending. Prize Box

Douglas was dead. Slam looked down at his brothers body trying to get him up from the cobbled road but nothing happend. The two ghosts that were hovering now over Douglas’s dead body looked up at Slam in a very creepy way. Then there eyes stared up into the sky, indicating that something caught there interest.
Suddenly, a strange figure came decending down from the sky like a ghost – or maybe it was ghost. It was Douglas but not his usually self. He was see through, and for a start he was hovering in mid air.

The two ghosts started to greet Douglas and whisper in hushed voices. Slam, still drunk looked ever confused and then suddenly stopped to the ghosts commands.
“Slam! What have you done to me,” shouted Douglas
“er I don’t know, but you looked pretty cool to me,” replied Slam
But Suddenly, after those final words, Slam fell to the floor and died. Poor old Slam.

It is good to see that you have used a circle technique to end your story Luke. Good attempt at using effective vocabulary. Edit and revise.

Slam and the ghosts

Slam dropped his bottle. It smashed into a thousand fragments on the stony lane. Slam didn’t notice He stared at the sight of his brother, rapped in a white sheet, lying still at the bottom of the steep bank. Then something very strange began to happen.

A bright, yellow halo appeared around Douglas, and poor Slam was now in a terrible state of shock as his brother, the one who always kept the money coming in, had now arose from lying on the floor and up into the darkness of the night. Douglas’s body morphed into a tall, thin, hideous thing to whom Slam ran away from, terrified of his brother being a ghost.

Meanwhile, the original ghost had scampered away into the dense undergrowth that surrounded them, for it too had been scared from what had just occurred.

Well done Oliver, you have included a cohesive device. Can anyone see it I wonder?