Someone has been stealing puppies from your town at night. You and a crack team of investigators (concerned people from the neighbourhood and your friends) have decided to figure out the crime when the police couldn’t. What do you do and how do you solve it?
For this piece of writing I would like you to include three examples of passive voice.
WAGOLL
Investigators (Josh, Susan, Oliver, Lucy)
Josh, Susan, Oliver and Lucy split up and go to the houses that have been burgled and look for clues. They find out where all the puppies live in the area. They that they’re going to watch the houses and use cameras. The cameras are bought by Josh and Oliver and they set them up. The cameras are controlled by Susan and Lucy so if they see any strange activity they call the boys on their walkie-talkies and they go to the trouble. The following day, they watch the footage back, and the burglar is a local resident known to them.
Cameras are controlled by Josh and Lucy – great use of a passive sentence Harry-Joe. Gosh, can you believe the audacity of the burglar!
“Has your dog been stolen? Do you want to be part of a crack team of investigators to help find the dog napper and the missing dogs? If you do, meet me at the community centre at 8.30pm. Don’t forget to bring dog treats and a torch.” This was the letter that I posted through everyones door on my estate. Now I just had to wait and see if anyone turned up.
The first person to come was my best friend Jake. We began to plan how to find the missing dogs by leaving a trail of dog treats on the pavement. Everyone had arrived expect for number 21 – was this suspicious?…
We all began the search by putting the dog treats on the floor hoping that the dogs would sniff them out. First one, then two then out of nowhere we heard a bark. All the dogs were racing towards us wagging their tails. Then one little boy whimpered “My dog is not here!” Suddenly we heard a squealing bark so me and Jake ran towards it. We saw a man dressed in black wearing a balaclava and carrying a swag bag. Without hesitation, Jake wrestled him to the ground and I pulled off the mask to find that it was the middle aged man who lived at number 21. Opening the bag, out popped the small dog licking my face. My suspicion was correct all along.
I phoned the police and the main was sentenced to jail. Me and Jake were interviewed for local news for being the dog rescuers. Everyone got their dogs back and the estate went back to normality.
A great opening paragraph to hook your reader Harry. Excellent use of paragraphs. Great variety of sentence starters. Jake and I or me and Jake? If you remove Jake from the sentence would it make sense? Can you change one of your sentences to passive voice? A great write Harry.
Thank you Miss.
“The mask was wrestled off the man by Jake.”
“The dogs were given back to the residents by the police.” Is this passive voice?
THIEF IN TOWN
Out of the blue, a hooded figure strode swiftly up the pathway of 6 Willow Drive – which was known to be the home of the most conceited couple, the Blakemans, the subject of most gossip in the village. *The gateway was slid artfully through by the stranger. A few moments later he slipped back out through the gate clutching something close to his chest. Kayla, who had been watching from her window on the opposite side of the road, after hearing a commotion, was baffled. Something about the figure’s prowling walk seemed familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on who he might be. Early the next morning, Kayla crept across towards the vast expanse of number 6. She was greeted with a muffled cry of despair as the woman of the house discovered her puppy was missing. This must have been what the stranger had in his arms! Sickened by this act of atrociousness, Kayla became determined to unravel the mystery. She asked around the village about the couple, as she thought she ought to find somebody who had a motive. Though when inquiring about the Blakemans, *the subject was hastily changed by many. Being the only person who saw the crime, she poured over the ground of the luxurious front yard in hope she would find something. Anything. Yet the only piece of evidence she could find from the garden was a lonely strand of purple straw. Suddenly, realisation came flooding over her… the only person in the village who wore this in his hat was the most unlikely person to commit such a crime. Her father……
By Alex Woodcock
*Passive Voice
Thank you for highlighting your use of passive voice Alex. I like your variety of sentence starters and your use of expanded noun phrases. Lovely control of KS2 punctuation. Good girl for double checking your spelling. A great contribution.
Comments
Eith
20 January 2019
Case: Dogs taken from owners in the merry neighbourhood
Investigators: Millie (Me), Lillie, Harrison and Sir Barky (the dog)
It was after the police had gone; my gang and I went round to the neighbourhood posting flyers through everyone’s mail slots. They said ‘If you have had your dog stolen or you know someone whose dog has been stolen then meet me in the park at Merry Court, 7:00pm sharp. Bring dog snacks and a torch.’ The meeting was attended by everyone, except for number 1 and 31. That was very suspicious.
Next day, Lillie and Harrison went round to all of the houses in search of clues; they went to number 21 and found CCTV footage. It showed a person wearing a black cloak at 2:00pm on 15/12/2020. Only one person in the neighbourhood that had a cloak and walked like the person on CCTV was Mr Long!
Everyone knew that Mr Long wanted to move to the country as well as become rich, but that was no reason to start stealing dogs. So my gang and I guessed that the dogs were being stolen by Mr Long. Then making them look rare so he could get lots of money. There was a bid next week for the rarest dogs. Then he can get away from this neighbourhood and move to the countryside.
The tracker was placed onto Sir Barky’s collar by us the next the next day. That way we could track where the thief was taking him. That was our decoy sorted. Then I walked out of the house, went back in through the side door and headed back to where Lillie and Harrison were hiding. We switched our phones on and watched the thief take Sir Barky to number 100 - which was the abandoned house - now we knew were our thief was hiding. We headed to number 100 and found all of the missing dogs. Thanks to Sir Barky, Harrison, Lillie and I, saw a person trying to leave the neighbourhood unnoticed but we were finally able to unmask that dog stealing person. As we unmasked the thief, we started to say “It was Mr…” but that changed to a Mrs because it was Mrs Bamboo! She said that she stole Mr Long’s cloak and had practised walking like him. Then people would suspect him as the thief then, she would able to receive a lot of money at the bid, and then move to the countryside. Everyone found their dogs and everything was peaceful again. So with that our case was closed and the thief handed to the authorities.
FRA21
20 January 2019
Although there was a strong neighbourhood watch team, one quiet evening a crime was committed. Lizzie the head of the neighbourhood watch team woke u to find her next door neighbour crying. Mrs Smith was sobbing by her dog’s kennel. “Fifi! She’s GONE!” Lizzie searched for Fifi all week. Out of the blue, a few other dogs were stolen. Lizzie ordered a meeting. The neighbourhood watch team consulted one another. There were seven of them: Josh, Kylie, Savannah, Harry, Alice, Charlie and Lizzie. “This can’t be a coincidence,”Lizzie cried beginning the meeting, “Four dogs can’t have run away during the night.”
Kylie continued, “Someone has been stealing the dogs.”
“We need to catch the thief. First we could gather all the information about the missing dogs,”Suggested Josh.
“Brilliant idea. Harry and Alice you can check Mr Potts, Charlie and Josh Miss Johnstone, Savannah and Kylie Mrs Charter and I’ll do Mrs Smith. We start tomorrow,”Lizzie bossily said.
The next day, The group found out that the missing dogs were all the same breed and were running for the ‘Best White Poodle of The Year’ award.
The group thought about this. “Oh no!” Exclaimed Josh, “My dog Roxy is also a white poodle running for the award! Could she be next?”
“Calm down Josh. We’ll stop this crook from taking Roxy!”declared Savannah.
A plan was hatched by Alice. When Josh told them about Roxy, Alice thought about using her to lure in the thief. As quick as a cheetah, she wrote it down.
“I’ve got a plan. We need Roxy for it...”Alice quietly began saying.
Late that evening, everyone went to Josh’s house. Charlie and Harry brought cameras with suspension ropes, Kylie and Savannah brought camouflage outfits and Alice and Lizzie brought a large net. Josh had made a loose fence panel so it was easy for the thief to sneak in and ‘take’ Roxy. Quickly, they hung the cameras u in the porch and attached a net to the porch and by Roxy’s kennel. Roxy’s kennel had a door and Josh had shut Roxy inside.
The camouflage outfits were put on by the children. They hid behind a bush a waited. And waited. And waited. Until, they heard the fence panel squeak.
The thief open the kennel door.
“Gotcha!”whispered the thief staring at Roxy.
The net was pulled by the children into a hanging bag. Lizzie removed the mask to see a familiar face...
MRS SMITH!
OOBY RUBY MK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20 January 2019
Sneakily, my friends and I were putting up camouflaged CCTV cameras to see who was responsible for the crime. The puppies were being stolen by someone from the local pet shop. My friends: Nina, Josh, Eddie and I, Ruby (AKA the Dynamic Detectives or the D-D squad), were try to solve the mystery. We took turns to watch the CCTV footage. At first we barely caught anything but one night we saw something ...
A black-hooded figure was heading to the pet shop. When this was happening, Nina and Eddie were on CCTV duty when it happened. ''JOSH! RUBY! WE FOUND SOMETHING! COME QUICK!'' Eddie screamed while Nina sat there in shock. We watched some of the footage and found that the puppies were put into a sack by the figure. After this, we rushed out the door and to the the scene of the crime. Without telling, Josh new what to do and tackled the puppy thief. Pinning the black-hooded figure down, Nina called the police. The police attended the scene of the crime as fast as lightning.
''Well, well, well. What have we here, hmm? Someone stealing all the puppies now?'' snapped one of the police men who arrested the thief. Another police man came up to us four. ''Congratulations kids! You saved all the puppies!'' He handed us all medals for bravery. The thief was being shoved into the back seat by the police before they drove off.
''The D-D Squad did it again!'' cheered Nina.
''You bet they did!'' I replied. I peered over at my watch and exclaimed ''My goodness! have you guys seen what time it is?''
''Oh yes! We need to head home for tea!'' gasped Eddie.
''How about a race?'' requested Josh.
''YES'' we all shouted; we bolted home and there were no more mysteries to solve, or were there?
Mrs Beesley
21 January 2019
Great to see a decoy and a red herring. Effective use of language features EH. I really enjoyed your story.
Mrs Beesley
21 January 2019
Loved it FG. Super use of features and dialogue to both convey character and advance the action.
'A plan was hatched by Alice. ' YES!'
Thank you for your hard work. This could be a WAGOLL.
Prize Box!
Mrs Beesley
21 January 2019
Great to see passive sentences enhancing your writing RK. A well-planned story with effective execution of language features. Prize Box!
N1a2t3h4a5n67D
23 January 2019
One cold winter morning, the village council called a meeting. The reason: to assemble a team of elite detectives that will bring the foul dognapper to justice. At the end of the meeting it was announced that I, Joseph, will be lead detective and my assistants will be: Timmy, one of my closest companions in Elder Flower Primary School; Samantha, a child who is younger than me by a considerable amount who pays no attention to anything apart from her smartphone; and Billy, my cousin who has mastered the mystic art of constructing a cheese sandwich without making a mess. Together we make...The Puzzle Gang...
Later that night, we received a call from number twenty-seven Artichoke Avenue. "Please 'elp! Me dog's been stolen!" Shrieked Mrs Morris.
"Okay, we're coming Mrs Morris. Please remain calm." Replied Billy.
"Looks like we have a case!" Said Billy setting down the phone on his desk.
"Pardon." muttered Samantha.
The Puzzle Gang rushed to the scene only to find a figure dressed all in black holding a snow white Pomeranian terrier. Creeping up behind the black lump, I jumped onto it's back and tackled it to the ground. Removing the black balaclava on the figures face, my jaw dropped to the ground. The criminal, who stole two of the neighbourhood's dogs was: the head of the village council...
CASE CLOSED
Coast Guard CG
25 January 2020
“THE DOGNAPPER STRIKES AGAIN” read the headline. This was the ninth house this week. “Mum, look! It was Miss Pennifore’s poodle!” I exclaimed showing her the paper.
“Oh dear! I’ll have to keep an eye on Kai then won’t I,” replied mum. I nodded. Soon after, I headed off to school. On the way, I met Janie (my BFF) at Chapel Street corner. As the roads were icy, we had to mind our step; and I almost fell over. Outside the school, there was a police car with the notable absence of any police officers and I assumed they were inside. To my surprise, I was right. But two cops in a school couldn’t be good. We walked over to our classmate Eric Yang and asked what was going on? He merely pointed to a police poster saying:
See it!
Say it!
Sorted!
If you see anything suspicious come tell us.
“We’re going to have an ‘emergency’ assembly due local ‘disturbances’,” Eric explained including air quotes to add insult to injury, ”Come on or you’ll be late.” The auditorium was almost full, so we had to take seats at the back of the room. “Your attention please!” bellowed the headteacher -Mr Worchester, ”I know this is our second emergency assembly this week after Tim’s ‘moment in the light’ but Officer Brookes insisted on holding it after the most recent felony of the so called ‘Dognapper’. Now I would like to welcome Officer Brookes herself up now.” He gestured to her. “Good morning students. Now I would like to ask if any of you have dogs? If you could raise your hands, please,” she questioned the school leaving half the students with their hands up (including me and Eric), ”So you are most likely aware of the recent burglaries of several these local canines. Yes? I thought so. T’was only last night that a dog was taken in the alley round the back of this school hence our presence here today. As a result of this school’s proximity to the crime scene, I’m forced to ask you to be vigilant, walk your dogs out of town and stay away from that back alley! Thank you.”
The bell gave a piercing ring. It was time for break. As I walked outside, I saw Lee Woods chatting with Janie. I walked over. “Hi Tal. We were just talking about the dognapper. Lee said that they were checking the school security cameras and had footage of a man wearing a balaclava,” she blustered glancing back to him for reassurance.
“To be honest I’m just worried about Kai,” I replied. Suddenly, the playground doors were opened by Mrs McGuire as she came running across the yard. “Miss Paulo! Miss Paulo!” she yelled in her harsh scottish accent.
“Talia? What does she want?” Lee asked. I shrugged.
“Talia with me. I’m afraid your mother has had a terrible accident,” ordered McGuire,”Your Grandfather is waiting outside to take you to Greenwich Hospital. Hurry along now.”
“Nonno. How did it happen?” I asked my Grandfather on the way to the hospital.
“I’m afraid I don’t know for sure but I do know,” he paused and sighed,” that… that Kai is gone and your mother’s been shot but it’s okay. It wasn’t too serious,” silence filled the car. One salty tear ran down my rosy cheek. Emotion whirled through my body: sadness, worry, anger, anxiety and empathy all at once. Miss Pennifore, Mum and now Kai. This dognapper has crossed a line. It has become personal. I straightened up in my seat; wiped away my tears. If the police couldn’t figure it out, I was going to.
“Oh Mum! Are you okay?” I blurted out racing through the ward towards Mum’s bed.
“Of course I am a darling. Just don’t ask me to get up,” she replied with a chuckle as I gave her a big hug.
“Nonno she’s here. C’mon!” I told him.
“Officer,” he addressed Officer Brookes,”Don’t mind us. Just visiting.” Startled, I realised I had completely missed a group of police officers -led by Chief Brookes. Did I mention she was chief of police? Anyway.”Why so shocked?” my mum questioned,”Did you do something wrong?”
“No I just didn’t realise that the police were here,”I replied.
“Just carry on now. I’m sure your questions are much more important than ours,” spluttered Nonno. All of a sudden, I realised that these questions could not only help the police; it could help my investigation. “Now where were we? Ah, yes. What direction did the bullet come from?” inquired Brookes.
“Just the other side of the fence, I think. The one at the back of the school,” Mum replied.
“Well, that’s enough for now then Miss Paulo,” declared Brookes,”We’ll leave you to your family.” One of the officers stared at me distrustingly. I looked at him back. “Jones keep up!”
‘THE NEXT VICTIMS OF THE DOGNAPPER… Young Talia and Rosa Paulo are the most recent victims of the so called dognapper losing their 5 year old beagle Kai...’ read the Charlton Times. Greenwich Post ‘THE BEAGLE BURGLAR’. The London Mirror ‘DOG MISSING, GIRL CRYING’. “Moving on, a supposed dognapper has plagued the ward of Charlton (in Greenwich) to the point of at least a dozen robberies this week alone. The latest victims of the dognapper are Kai -the dog-, a child named Talia and a mother called Rosa. Rosa herself sadly shot presumably in defence of Kai although the family doesn’t want to give away all the information..” announced the news presenter in a rather fake expressive way.
“Hey Tal if you’d care to look up from your phone you’d see you’re on national TV,” chuckled Nonno.
Dear whoever is reading this letter,
I would like you to join me in an association called JELT Investigators. I am putting this group together in order to solve the dognapping mystery. Join me at the back fence of St. Joseph’s School at break-time if you except.
T.
“Tal? Is that you?” asked Janie.
“Yes J but call me T,” I replied.
“JELT… J...Janie E… er… L… er … T… Talia?” she inquired. I nodded. “Janie Eric Lee Talia… Investigators,” I chuckled running over to her and giving her a hug.
“We’re here as well y’know,” sighed Lee referring to him and Eric.
“Right. Now can we get to business,” I confirmed, ”Start searching.” We looked around the area. There was an obvious footprint in the frost that they thought the police must have noticed so none of us brought it up. When we had been studying the scene for a few minutes, I went to the window at the back of the history classroom. I put my head on its smooth surface ; I thought,’Oh Kai, we will do it. We will find out who did it.’ All of a sudden, a strange texture on the glass was noticed by me. I stepped back. On the glass, there were three scratch marks. A clue!
“Officer!” I cried, ”I’ve found a clue!”
“Why I don’t see how you could’ve found anything I checked the crime scene myself and there was nothing there,” replied the police officer. As I came to a halt in front of him, I saw that it was Jones -the one I had stared at the other day. ”Sir, there are scratch marks on the window,” I exclaimed suddenly.
“Why its you!” sneered Jones repulsively,”Well, you better show me this supposed ‘clue’ then.” I lead him to the spot where the others were waiting. “By golly, that’s some find you got there. I’ll tell the chief straight away,” he mocked us. Something about his voice made me think he was lying but I couldn’t be sure. And I’m sure I heard him mutter ‘lousy kids’.
The dominoes had started to fall. The mysterious Officer Jones. The footprint. The scratch marks. Now it was time to question the victim. Another day had passed and we were making one extra stop. My neighbour Miss Pennifore. Since they walked a different way to me and Janie, Lee and Eric sat this one out. We walked up the drive and we noticed we were not the only ones finding answers. A blue and yellow van with POLICE plastered across the bonet was sat on the drive. “Tea dear? ”Miss Pennifore asked the officer as we rang the doorbell, ”My I’m getting quite a lot of visitors today, aren’t I?” She opened the door. “Why it’s just so happens to by my neighbour Talia Paulo. You see she’s also a victim of the dognapper. Come in dear.” My eyes turned from her to Jones and I asked, ”So, did you tell Officer Brookes about the clue?” Brookes glared at him. ”Oh Chief it was not genuine. They probably just scraped a stone against the window,” he lied.
“You two did you see anything else?” she inquired obviously ignoring Jones.
“Yes a footprint,” Janie replied.
“They said nothing about a footprint to me.”
“Miss Pennifore, we’ve heard enough from you we’ll be leaving now,” she claimed once again ignoring her colleague, ”And you two, thank you for the info.”
A knock came from the door and Nonno went to open it. “Hello. Can we please have Natalia?” asked Brookes standing in the porchway. He nodded and gestured to me to come over to the door. ”Hello Natalia. We believe that you and your friends have been investigating the dognapping case. Am I right in saying that?” The chief questioned me. I nodded. ”Since this is true, you likely know more clues than we do due to a dim-witted officer. Anyway. We would like you to come with us to the CSI lab in Downtown in order to figure out the crime?”
“Of course I would.”
A few hours and a long drive later, they were there we were met by Brookes who showed us around. When we finally got to the area in which they were scanning the footprint, the shoe was revealed to be, ’An Official Registered Boot for Use In The Metropolitan Police Force’ or ‘ORBUMPFB’ (I preferred the first). “Oh and the scratch marks had your dog’s DNA.” This meant that the crime was committed by someone in the police force and I knew exactly who it was. Jones. ”I know who it is. Your supposed dim-wit... Officer Jones!” I revealed.
“Timothy! STOP HIM!” she cried as a Jones was leapt on by a man in a lab coat.
“How on earth did you figure it out?” inquired Brookes in despair.
“Well, Jones’ distrusting stare put him in the prime suspect spot in my eyes and the footprint confirmed my suspicions,” I replied.
“So we just need to know why, JONES!” cried Brookes.
“You know about our lack of police dogs don’t you. They’re so helpful,” he exclaimed with a hint of insanity as he was taken away ,”We’ve worked together for years Lucy. You can’t do this!”
“Thank you Miss Paulo. When the police couldn’t, you could.”
JS
28 January 2020
The past couple of dark and dingy days, there have been numerous reports of dogs being stolen. Mr smith from the local news station reported, ''That there was an estimate of around 22 dogs taken from Windmill Lane residents properties.'' The police have said they are struggling to find the culprit, so now I have decided to set up an investigation of my own, with the help of friends and people in the community.
As quick as a flash, 30 of us got to the case. We brainstormed and came up with a plan of action. The idea was made by Mrs. Johnson, one of the local residents, to walk her own dog in the local neighbourhood and ensure people were nearby, but allow the dog off the lead, in the hopes to find the dognapper. Mr. Kershaw advised this strategy could be too risky to let the dog off the lead on it's own, despite people being nearby.
He suggested to set up a trap to lure the dognapper, so that he would fall down a hole covered with leaves, grass and dirt. They were hoping to catch the dognapper red handed. The 30 of us set to work digging the deep hole. Deep enough for him to fall down and not be able to get out until the police arrived.
We also had one of our team retrieve a tape recorder and record dogs barking loudly, so the perpetrator would hopefully hear, come running and fall right into our trap. Creed, the dog, was walked by Mrs. Johnson in the area, in the hopes that if the dognapper would see them both, he would soon follow. Not even 15 minutes later, Mrs. Johnson, saw a tall figure not too far away, acting suspiciously. He looked like he'd not bathed in days. Long, jet black, scraggly hair, a dangly, knotty looking beard and the rest of his facial features covered with a hockey mask. This had to be him!
Suddenly, he spotted Creed and started following. He was getting closer and closer. Mrs. Johnson picked up the pace past the trap and the figure started sprinting and fell straight into the deep hole.
''We've got him, call the police!'' Shouted Mrs. Johnson. The others raced to the scene and called the police immediately. Before we knew it, we could hear sirens blaring in the distance, getting nearer and nearer. Once the police arrived, we assisted them in getting the dognapper out of the hole and flung him into the back of the police van.
It later emerged that his name was Jason Davies and he had a history of criminal violence and animal cruelty. The police interrogators worked hard and managed to find out where Mr. Davies was keeping the dogs held. They found an old, run down garage that was padlocked shut and used a bolt cutter to snap the locks off and finally set the dogs free and give them back to their ecstatic owners.
Jason Davies was found guilty of stealing numerous dogs, with intent to harm them or sell them on and he was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment. What an amazing team effort and a fantastic result for all!
Mrs Beesley
2 February 2020
JS. Best blog you have completed. Brilliant plot. Excellent use of language features and vocabulary. I love it! Prize Box.
RMat ????
5 January 2021
The Thief in Town
Ella, Steve and I got chosen to solve the mystery of the stolen puppies. Firstly, we decided to go to the vets, because that's where the puppies vanished. The huge wooden door was opened by Steve. I hesitated for a moment but decided to go inside the building. As the wind slammed the door behind our backs, we could see the receptionist. We told her we were to investigate the stolen pets and so she let us go and set up cameras for evidence with no emotion on her face. I could tell something was fishy but I ignored it for the time being. The cameras were being set up by me, now the only thing to do now is to wait.
The next day, the sun woke me up bright and yellow. I stood up, went to get some coffee and went of to the vets. The cameras were in the same position as yesterday, the camera was being held by me as I set up the computer to see the recordings of last night. I could not believe my eyes. It was the receptionist coming in the room with the pets and going out of the room with two. The thief is found.
EJC :)
5 January 2021
Sorry Mrs Beesley, I accidently sent some of it so I will just carry on from here.
"What are you keeping in there? Harry Potter or something?" said Sherlock, holding in his smile. Maria didn't find it funny and went off on a walk. "Does your mother normally go on walks Sally?" asked Sherlock. Sally swallowed what she was eating and replied. "No, she never goes on walks without me." said Sally, starting to wonder what was for lunch. He sat down and thought to himself. "I have no clues. However, did anything strange happen yesterday, like somebody coming round or anything suspicious?" questioned Sherlock. Sally thought for a second. "Yeah, our elderly neighbour came round, that was quite strange." uttered Sally, sitting down next to Sherlock. "Please can you tell me what she said?" announced Sherlock. Sally nodded and she put her feet up on the couch. She cleared her throat and replied in Mrs Williams voice, "Hello, I heard about the dognapping and just wanted to come and see if you're okay."
"Yesterday, did you tell anybody other than me and the police about your dog being kidnapped?"
Sally knew she didn't and shook her head. That was when Sherlock realised who the dognapper was. He put on his coat and took Sally with him. He walked over to Miss William's house and noticed footprints that led straight to her shed. Instead of knocked on the door they went straight over. The tried to open the shed door but it was locked. It had no windows and there was no key in sight. "Stand back Sal" Exclaimed Sherlock. Sally loved that nickname, she stood back with a smile. Sherlock grabbed an axe from behind the shed and smashed the door down. They stepped in and there was Teddy sitting on a small rug. Sally ran to hug him and squeezed him tightly. "I missed you Teddy!" She cried. Sherlock rang the police and told them everything. Sally, Teddy, Sherlock and the police arrived at Miss William's door, she had a friend around, Derek Jones. Miss Williams opened the door, and said that she was baby-sitting her friends Derek's job and Derek for around to collect the puppy. The police tutted and went over to their car and got out the handcuffs. They immediately admitted everything. "After my husband died, I went for a life of crime out of depression." said Miss Wilson, holding back tears.
Sally and Teddy went out to the park and had the best time ever, and Sherlock said his goodbyes.
Rmu
5 January 2021
Suspects:
Katie,poppy,max,Sarah
Its been all over the news that in the late hours a puppy has been stolen and that to watch out for it.The main suspect are Katie,poppy,max and Sarah.But the funny thing is that Max and Katie are my friends and poppy is my neighbour i don’t know Sarah
Walking into town i saw police tape and later found out that’s were the puppy was stolen from.But you will never guess what happened next!
KATIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What is in that bag.she stood silent and said ‘I’ve just gone shopping’
I stood silent and hear a bark i called the police and they got here just in time to capture her.i cannot believe she did that I thought she was my freind.I don’t believe it.how can i forgive her.what will max think.what will my mum say .
JJ
6 January 2021
One beautiful summers day, i got out of bed and woke my brother Harry up. Harry came down the creaky old stairs after a few minutes and i had made him breakfast. When we ate our breakfast, me and Harry talked all about the puppy thief and how upset the neighbourhood was. Something had to be done. I sat thinking how i could help.
Suddenly a plan popped into my head. I quickly grabbed a notepad and started to write it down . It was a simple plan, we could use our puppy Leo , the burglar would never be able to resist him. He was the cutest puppy ever.
Harry thought the plan was a great idea and we raced upstairs to get dressed and put our plan into action.
It felt like such a long time waiting for it to go dark , we were both getting nervous. Would my plan really work?
As the sun set we put Leo in the garden, he was not happy about it at all, it was very windy.
Harry had passed me a pair of binoculars and he had his telescope. It felt like we were real detectives. I was getting nervous in my tummy while we were sat in the bushes in our back garden waiting patiently. After what felt like ages we heard footsteps in the garden. Harry jumped which scared me more then the footsteps. I was really scared now that if our plan did not work then we would lose Leo forever. Should we of left it to the police? It was too late now the puppy thief was taking Leo.
We started to follow him down the road , silently tip toeing behind him. Suddenly he turned around , we quickly hid behind a very dirty, smelly bin. We waited until he was far enough away before we set off again. We then hid behind a lamppost . Harry told me to take a careful look. I did and he was walking to a van. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the police. Luckily they were around the corner as they were trying to catch the puppy thief. They were there in quick time and darted out of the car. They had caught the puppy thief, our plan had worked. The police took off the balaclava and i was shocked that the puppy thief was .......MY TEACHER!
Isabelle Watson
6 January 2021
One winters morning, the major of Azkaban town called a meeting with me and my gang to ask us to solve the mystery of the dog stealer. Myself, nutmeg the guard dog, Lilly my best friend who is also very clumsy and my brother Isaac who likes to carry guns set of to the meeting.
Later on that day we got call from a lady called Ava, she advised, her little white fluffy dog had been stolen, we were on the case straight away, rushing straight to her house. Once we got to the house we asked Ava investigative questions about the whereabouts of her little fluffy dog. Then from the corner of my eye I saw a black hooded figure holding a dog that fitted the description of Ava's missing dog. I told Isaac to get out one of his guns and we all shouted stop there!!
He immediately stopped and gasped, he was caught red handed! The last thing to do was to reveal who the black hooded figure was. We slowly approached him and as we got closer the street lights revealed it was....... Donald Trump.
JP sorry i needed to do it again
6 January 2021
On the news, there were reports of dogs being captured in my neighbourhood, no one knew who or what was taking them so I decided that I was going to solve this case. I recruited a crack team of investigators from the neighbourhood who were willing to get the dogs back. My name is Stuart Bobbles and I am going to solve this case!
When I left my house, there was a collar discarded in a bu. I took it and used the fingerprint recogniser, which showed a tall bald man with a black hat and a black coat. There were two fingerprints on the collar. One from the tall man named Graham and another short one with lots of hair and a blue coat whose name was Jimmy.
Me and my team were out on the street looking for evidence of where the dogs were being kept. I found a footprint lying outside an old abandoned house. As I entered, I saw a micro-wave cooked spaghetti meal, it was still warm - someone was there – maybe it was the dogknappers? I took the plate that was filled with spaghetti and scanned it for any fingerprints. I found one and it was the same one as the ones that where on the dog collars. I had a great idea but I needed a dog, a microphone and a net.
Once we had found a lady that was willing to give us her dog, the trap was set. We called the police and told them to hide behind a car. When we were all hid we made the dog bark into the microphone and waited for the theives to take the bait. As soon as we heard someone’s footsteps, we were as silent as a mouse. Just as the dog was going to get caught by the robbers, we threw the net onto them.
“Freeze” said the two policemen.
“We did it” we all said joyfully in unison.
The dogs were returned to their owners by the police. All of the owners were thanking us but we couldn’t of done it without Mrs Casey, the owner of the dog that was used as bait.
E G
6 January 2021
my two friends and I have a dog house for the dog Olympics as we call it, we walked in today to see something rather unusual, we do a count for dogs every day because there is a dognapper in town, my friends and I got back to my house to plan our first move to see the thief strike. we set up CCTV signaling from my room to other houses, then we waited for him or her to make their move. they didn't so we went to sleep but that was the first mistake we made whilst trying to catch the thief. we noticed at about 07:00 in the morning though we saw a lot of people get out of the houses apart from number 69 and I thought that would take us another step closer to the thief in town. we investigated the house and we noticed that there was a basement under the stairs. we took closer investigation tp the strange place at the back of the house (the top of the basement )we listened closely at the top of the basement and heard a sniffing sound, I put my hand through and I felt a dog breathing on my wet hand after it licking me trying to find what it was what was stuck in the wedged door. we ran back trying not to get caught and we informed the police and we got the dogs back to there owners :)
HM
6 January 2021
One dark, cold night Sophie was out of her bed when she should have been asleep.
All of a sudden she heard loud foot steps coming from a house a few away from hers. She slowly walked towards her window and opened her curtains. It was to dark for her to see what was happening so she grabbed a torch from her bed-side table, then peered into the darkness of the street. All of a sudden she saw a dark cloaked figure sprinting away from house number 22. The next morning Sophie saw reports in the local news paper that a spaniel puppy had been taken from house 22. She then decided she would find out who was behind the robbery of the puppy. Later that day she went to her best friend Alice's house. Sophie told Alice what her plan was; Alice was in. Together, they got the local investigation team to begin the search! The very next morning there was more reports of missing puppies. They had to find out who was doing this before all the puppies in the town are gone. To begin their investigation they started at the house where it started, number 22. The gate leading to the house was opened by Sophie. The five of them walked into the garden, as they did so they found a red coloured neckerchief, it was picked up by Alice. They thought for a while; sitting on the grass. Then suddenly Sophie had a brain wave, the only person in the town who had a red neckerchief like that was the local news agent. She told the others her idea, then headed off into the direction of the news shop.
When they arrived they found it was shut but the door was open. So they made a plan, Alice and one of the investigators would stay outside on look out while Sophie and the other two went inside to explore. As they began to walk into the shop the door slammed shut behind them! They looked all around but there was nobody to be seen. Then she noticed it Sophie pointed it out to the others that there was a secret door in the cellar. It was a room filled with puppies and sat in the middle was the news agent called Bob. They sadly had to phone the police to come and arrest him, he said he only did it because he loves dogs and wanted to take care of them. That night Sophie told her parents what had happened; they were so proud of her. That very next day when the newspaper came out Sophie found that she was in it, it said how she had saved all them dogs so they could go back to their owners. At the end of the newspaper it read: the case was closed by Sophie Evans.
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Great use of passive RMa. Effective use of modal verbs. I wanted more to read. Well done.
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Great to see you starting with your characters. Remember to start your lists with a colon EJC not a semi colon. Lovely use of vocab: retreated. Effective use of speech. I can't believe it was Miss Wilson. An excellent detective story. Eva 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Brothers as detectives - a great idea JJ. Remember to check your work and edit and revise it. Effective use of modal verbs.
Luckily they were around the corner is a fronted adverbial JJ it just needs a comma. Excellent idea to use a decoy which is a language feature :) It was ME!!!!!!!!!!! 5DJs - Made me smile!
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Your character choices made me smile IWat. You have used some lovely fronted adverbials IWat they just need a comma eg: Out of the corner of my eye,
I can't believe that it was Donald Trump. Excellent work today. 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Watch out for capital letters and full stops EG. Great to see brackets. What were the clues EG? How did you solve the crime?
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
Well done JP for remembering your narrative story features. You have introduced your character and setting early on. Great to see fronted adverbials and speech to advance the action and convey character. Clever use of clues. Dressing as a werewolf: despicable! Brilliant JP. 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
6 January 2021
A lovely start to your story HM. Remember that your fronted adverbials need a comma.
"peered into the darkness of the street." :) Lovely turn of phrase.
Great to see passive voice. I can see that you have used features of the genre: clues.
Effective use of KS2 punctuation including semi-colons and colons. Thank you for listening HM. Your writing is excellent. 5DJs
SC
6 January 2021
“Over the past couple of months around 19 dogs have been stolen.”
“Really?”
“Yes,”
“Sir that’s quite a few.”
“Yes yes it is.”
“but the police don’t have any suspects so we were called in to find the culprit.”
Joja and Shawn went to the first house where her dogs have been stolen.
“ excuse me miss I am Joja the detective May I ask you some question?”
“sure.”
“ how many dogs did you have?”
“I had four.”
“ when you woke up was the door unlocked or any evidence that may have shown that someone had broken into your house.”
“ The door is on locked And I had locked it that night.”
“ okay thanks for your time.”
Next Joja and Shawn went to Mrs Miller’s house her next door neighbour. She told us that she had seen a hooded figure on the night that the dogs were stolen.
Then they asked a couple more people and it’s in the exact same hooded figure running round at night with what looks like dogs. One said they can’t really make out what his face look like but to others said that they saw his face they said he had black hair brown eyes and moustache and a beard. Two others said that they may have seen someone who looks like that. They told them that there was a couple people that they knew that could’ve been the culprit of the stolen dogs.
So Joja and Shawn went to the first man’s house they told him that a couple told them that you looks like the culprit who stole the dogs and if they could look around the house.
They looked around the house and found nothing so they went to the next person‘s house the same thing and looked around nothing they can’t find anything they had to search two more peoples houses Joja went to The first guys house and Shawn went to the second guys house
“ hello sir my name is Joja and I am a detective, May look around your house?”
The man refused which made him a prime suspect.
“ hello sir my name is Shawn I am a detective me I look around your house.” The man hesitated first let him in. He looked around his house and in his basement Shawn found one dog that was his. Meanwhile Joja was that the first guy’s house he pushed his way past and had a look around lots of his living room and so nothing suspiciously went to his kitchen again nothing looked in his attic and his bedroom and the bathroom but there was nothing until he found a hidden door he open the door to the cobwebbed old and dirty room.
He heard some barking but you couldn’t find out where it was coming from he looked in every corner in every box and every cage but he couldn’t find anything until he found one last cage before his eyes he saw all 19 dogs Joja called for backup police came and the owners of the dogs came to I was taken to jail and the dogs returned home safely.
Ryan.M
6 January 2021
Mrs Beesley... you may have already received a draft of this as completed 1 and then pressed something and it disappeared.... so here it is again!!!
Johnny J was a small boy from a small town with a big responsibility. His father had failed in the police investigation to the town dog napping... but Johnny J was not giving up.
His 4 friends Bob, Billy, Chan and Phil were all on board to capture the mystery dog napper. They collected their pocket money and put this together to buy a dog costume, for the smallest kid (Billy). The plan was coming together nicely as Johnny and the others headed to the pet shop. Billy in his costume was sat in the middle of the shop whilst the others hid behind the other cages. As expected the Dog Napper (who turned out to be 6 foot tall with a bald head shaped like an egg) burst into the shop and Billy was grabbed and placed in a sack. He made our gang SOS signal as the bag was closed.
Johnny, Bob, Chan and Phil burst into action screaming "stop! stop! egg head stop!" But the dog napper turned and smirked before heading down an alley.
With a thud and a bump Billy was dropped onto the floor of the home of the egg headed thief. He listened carefully as the egg headed thief made a phone call, grabbed his car keys and was sped away. Slowly out of the bag wriggled Billy; just in time to meet the gang who had followed the GPS tracker placed in the costume ear!
Cautiously they made their way together towards a barn where there was yapping, howling and barking. Slowly Johnny J opened the door and gasped at the greeting of 101 puppies jumping at them all.
"How on earth can we save all of the puppies?" asked Phil. But beside the barn Chan notices a large cart that egg man must use for his precious chickens and eggs!
Johnny J sat in the cart as 1 by 1 each dog was passed along the chain of children until all 101 were secured in the cart. It took all of the strength of the 5 children to get the cart wheeled through the town streets back to the pet shop.
There were tears of happiness as the town folk got their pets back, but the biggest tears were from the egg man as he was driven away in the back of a police car. ????????
LMc
6 January 2021
As the sun set we sat around a table with our hot chocolate and cookies feeling anxious about the footprints in the snow. Luckily the cameras had already seen where the footprints led.
Elliot and Jake were getting ready to go to their lookout spots around the barn building of old farmer Ryan. At 10pm off they went and I got ready with my walkie-talkie; this began buzzing off with Elliot and Jake screaming into their walkie-talkies "old farmer Ryan went to get the sheep!" they repeated. So I ran like the speed of lightning towards the barn house catching up with Elliot and Jake. We could hear the puppies howling for help, as I creaked open the barn door 100 dogs came jumping among us.
The police were dialled by Jake who quickly arrived and arrested farmer Ryan as he came back from his sheep. One by One the puppies came out of the barn and enjoyed their first ride in the Police vans to safety.
ON
6 January 2021
A thief in town
This is a story all about how Will Sniff and his companion John Smith saved Barclay Bank millions. But first let me tell you a little bit about Will Sniff and John Smith.
Will Sniff wears a tuxedo and only goes out in ties and long house coats. His talents are being the best in his field of P.I. He also is very good at riddles and playing most instruments that he comes across. And he quotes “I’m like Sherlock Holmes, my old college friend, but better.”
Usually, this crime fighting, and amazing detective runs around with his companion “Big Johnny” which was his street name as a mob boss before he saw how well Will Sniff could help people so Big Johnny who is now called John Smith helps Will whenever he is in peril. Any way let’s get back to the story.
It was a cold and drizzly day here in London. There has just been a bank robbery, and no one witnessed it the only person who saw anything even a little bit suspect was a night guard, a clerk working overtime and a postman but none of their stories match so the LPD call in the only person who can catch this crooked criminal Will Sniff.
It’s 6:50 when Will and John arrived but in the corner of Will Sniff’s eye, he sees a big, burly silhouette. He looks over his shoulder and sees three people. One is the bank’s clerk Jim Whitaker; the other is a small female about 34 years old in a security guards’ uniform and the final one is the postman delivering a parcel to the bank.
Immediately Will Sniff realises that there wasn’t a delivery headed for the bank. When Will wanders over to the suspects he begins questioning them, “What were you doing at 6:15?” he asked Jim, (6:15 was the time of the bank robbery),
“Why sir I was just working a little overtime for my son is ever so ill and my family cannot afford his hospital bills I was just about to get ready to put the money from the register into the vault when the silent alarm went off and I cannot find my glove.” Mr. Whitaker replied shakily.
Next, he questioned the night guard, Susan Lee. “What were you doing at 6:15?” Susan replied confidently, “I was in the reception at 6:15 checking if the doors were locked”.
Finally, Will Sniff asks the big burly postman, “what were you doing at 6:15?” Robin Banks replied that, “I was at the post box collecting the mail.”
While Will Sniff was questioning the suspects, John Smith was in the vault and noticed that there was a large boot print the looked suspiciously like Jim Whitakers boots. He also found a red glove, but whose was it?
Will and John come together to compare notes. They ask the suspects not to leave the building. The evidence is all pointing to Jim Whitaker. Will Sniff sniffs a crook and doesn’t believe that Jim is the robber. But how does he prove it?
The boot print is a size 12 but Will notices that Robin Banks also has the same boots. But how did the red glove get there? The glove belongs to Jim, but he told me he was nowhere near the vault. At that point John appears with CCTV footage of the bank. It shows Jim sitting at the counter counting money as he said in his statement. This convinces Will Sniff that he has sniffed a plot…
They check the security cameras again but this time of 6:15 in the reception, no one is there! So, Susan Lee is not telling the truth.
Will says to John, “we already know that there was no package to be collected, I wonder if Susan and Robin know more than they are letting on!”
John has contacts to the criminal world and knows that every vault in the country is being monitored by them looking for ways to rob them. He rings Charlie Two Fingers; he only has two fingers left because they have been cut off in a safe. He has some CCTV that he WhatsApp to John, the CCTV shows two masked people inside the vault one small like Susan and the other big burly like Robin. John could hardly believe his luck when he saw on the CCTV Robin lift is mask to take a heartburn tablet!
Will Sniff now has all the evidence he needs, he arrests Robin Banks, AKA Red Breasted Robin because he always has heartburn along with his accomplice Susan Lee also know as Sus Susan as she is always suspected of doing the wrong thing.
Robin Banks, says “damn that heartburn and damn Will Sniff!” Susan says, “I planted that glove so you would blame Jim, damn you Will Sniff and your pesky sidekick John Smith!”
Abby :)
6 January 2021
One night i couldn't get to sleep, knowing that there was dog nappers in town! So i crept downstairs. When the door was opened by me it made a loud creak. As i hesitated about my parents waking up I ran into the kitchen. Suddenly, her dog was... gone. The next morning 9am to be precise , i woke up my parents to see if they had saw my dog but they hadn't. As i was walking to school i heard mutters of missing just like my dog was. Then my bestfriend was sat crying on the nearby shop bench only hearing that her dog was missing to! So later that night i packed my bag full of squeaky toys and treats so that the dogs could sense it, and to my satisfaction i heard a bark just like my dogs. As i ran to were the noise was coming from i approached a van the doors was open and.. ALL THE DOGS WERE THERE! As i unlocked all the cages I let them free making sure they go back to there owner. I was a hero from then on>
AF
7 January 2021
One cold and dark day, Harry, Henry and Adam were driving home to there apartment, the apartment wasn’t that far away but Henry was cold and pleaded Adam to get the blanket in the back of the car, So Adam, being the youngest, had gone to get it after Harry stopped the car. Adam noticed a figure under the blanket but he thought nothing of it. He got the blanket and gave it to Henry and didn’t look back, but this was a big mistake.
A man rushed out of the car holding that expensive necklace that Henry’s Mum got him for his birthday. The 3 boys rushed out the car at rapid speeds. While chasing Harry realised that there had been lots of robberies in the area in that past month. A record ten robberies for the time.
The man rushed to the Apartment block that the boys lived in. The man had a mask on to hide his identity. But the man eventually lost the boys.
Henry remembered that the apartment had security footage. As Henry was looking at the footage he saw the man take off his mask.
Henry found it that it was Oliver! So they called the police, got there necklace back and Oliver got arrested.
ON
7 January 2021
A thief in town
This is a story all about how Will Sniff and his companion John Smith and how they saved the Harrison home their dog. But first let me tell you a little bit about Will Sniff and John Smith.
Will Sniff wears a tuxedo and only goes out in ties and long house coats. His talents are being the best in his field of P.I. He also is very good at riddles and playing most instruments that he comes across. And he quotes “I’m like Sherlock Holmes, my old college friend, but better.”
Usually, this crime fighting, and amazing detective runs around with his companion “Big Johnny” which was his street name as a mob boss before he saw how well Will Sniff could help people so Big Johnny who is now called John Smith helps Will whenever he is in peril. Any way let’s get back to the story.
“FOOFOO!” cried Cindy Loo Harrison. It turned out to be a cold and drizzly day here in London. There has just been a dog robbery, and no one witnessed it the only person who saw anything even a little bit suspect was a night guard, a butler working overtime and a postman but none of their stories match so the LPD call in the only person who can catch this crooked criminal Will Sniff.
It’s 6:50 when Will and John arrived but in the corner of Will Sniff’s eye, he sees a big, burly silhouette. He looks over his shoulder and sees three people. One is the family’s butler Jim Whitaker; the other is a small female about 34 years old in a security guards’ uniform and the final one is the postman delivering a parcel to the house.
Immediately Will Sniff realises that there wasn’t a delivery headed for the humble abode. When Will wanders over to them and asks, “What were you doing at 6:15?” he asked Jim, (6:15 was the time of the dog robbery).
“Why sir I was just working a little overtime for my son is ever so ill and my family cannot afford his hospital bills I was just about to get ready to put the food for the dog into the dog cage when the dog started maniacally barking and I cannot find my glove.” Mr. Whitaker replied shakily.
Next, he questioned the night guard, Susan Lee. “What were you doing at 6:15?” Susan replied confidently, “I was in the hall at 6:15 checking if the doors were locked”.
Finally, Will Sniff asks the big burly postman, “what were you doing at 6:15?” Robin Dogs replied that, “I was at the post box collecting the mail.”
While Will Sniff was questioning the suspects, John Smith was looking in the cage and noticed that there was a large boot print that looked suspiciously like Jim Whitakers boots. He also found a red glove, but whose was it?
Will and John come together to compare notes. They ask the suspects not to leave the building. The evidence is all pointing to Jim Whitaker. Will Sniff sniffs a crook and doesn’t believe that Jim is the robber. But how does he prove it?
The boot print is a size 12 but Will notices that Robin Dogs also has the same boots. But how did the red glove get there? The glove belongs to Jim, but he told me he was nowhere near the cage. At that point John appears with CCTV footage of the mansion. It shows Jim sitting at the counter putting food in the dog bowl as he said in his statement. This convinces Will Sniff that he has sniffed a plot…
They check the security cameras again but this time at 6:15 in the reception, no one is there! So, Susan Lee is not telling the truth.
Will says to John, “we already know that there was no package to be collected, I wonder if Susan and Robin know more than they are letting on!”
John has contacts to the criminal world and knows that every house in the country is being monitored by them looking for ways to rob them. Charlie Two Fingers was rung by John (he only has two fingers left because they have been cut off in a safe.) The CCTV footage was emailed to John, the CCTV shows two masked people inside the house one small like Susan and the other big and burly like Robin. John could hardly believe his luck when he saw on the CCTV Robin lift is mask to take a heartburn tablet!
Will Sniff now has all the evidence he needs, he arrests Robin Dogs, AKA Red Breasted Robin because he always has heartburn along with his accomplice Susan Lee also know as Sus Susan as she is always suspected of doing the wrong thing.
Robin Dogs, says “damn that heartburn and damn Will Sniff!” Susan says, “The glove was planted by me so you would blame Jim, damn you Will Sniff and your pesky sidekick John Smith!”
Case Closed
M.E
7 January 2021
a thief in Town!
Characters- Detective = Mr. Magpie -Thief = Simon -Thief’s brother = Paul – The dog = Roko.
It was a quiet night in Washington, but all was about to change. The President had put his dog down so he could get to a meeting but little did he know that one of his guards had betrayed him so he could help his brother steal the President’s dog. The guard’s brother had given him a spare uniform so he could sneak past the guards and into the White House. Now all the thief had to do was find his brother and steal the dog. After a while of searching, Simon found his brother Paul and the dog. Simon got out a box of treats for the dog and put the treats in a bag and Roko went running straight into their trap. As soon as Simon got in his van he drove home as quick as he could. Earlier that week Simon had stole a phone and he had had it in his pocket, but he checked his pocket to see if the phone was there, but he must have dropped it on the way out. He was a little happy because he had created a red herring. The president had eventually got out of his meeting and discovered that Roko had gone. He told all his guards to put missing posters around the city and the reward would get 1,000 dollars.
The next day Simon went outside to take his bin round the back and noticed a missing poster for Roko, but the president was only giving 1,000 dollars and he wanted more, so he decided to send a ransom note and it read:
Drop of 10,000 dollars at The Washington Monument Tomorrow at 10PM OR ELSE!!!!
When the note got to the president, he phoned his old friend Mr. Magpie who then came immediately to help. They had come up with a plan to give the thief fake money and chip it. Meanwhile, Simon was writing a list what he was going to spend the money on.
It finally became the day to exchange the dog for the fake 10,000. At 8PM Simon started to get ready into his black clothes and get the dog to go. It was now 10PM and Mr. Magpie and the president put the money down and then Roko came running towards the president and Mr. Magpie. As soon as the president got in his limo with Mr. Magpie, Simon took his chance to get the money and run home, But what he didn’t know was that the money was chipped and was fake. Now the limo followed the directions to where the money was being taken. Simon had now been home for ten minutes and had got into his pjs and suddenly he heard a knock on his front door, so he went to open it to found Mr. Magpie and the president and a couple policemen. The police said, “So you’re the real thief, then are you?” Then Simon replied, “well done you’ve caught me.” Now Simon and his brother Paul are now locked away in prison.
THE END.
OR IS IT…
AB
7 January 2021
It was then. The rain was drawn all over her window. The splashing woke her. Avery clambered out of bed, terrified. She refused to get back in, scared of the window breaking. The night was dark, and the clouds were gloomy grey. She had her dressing gown wrapped softly around her, and her old slippers under the soles of her feet. She shivered as the window broke open. The curtains lead to nothing more than grey scribbles. Bravely, she leant her head through the opened window. As nothing more than a spectator, she whispered to herself,
"When will this storm end? Please stop, you're scaring me!" But the wind howled aggressively, scaring Avery even more! She looked down, next to the Deli shop, to see a man, dressed in brown and black, walking ever-so-sneakily away from number 5, Downing Street. The dampened path was walked on by the pest. Avery knew he was up to no good; his icy-breath formed a gathering to levitate into the windy night. He dropped the bag insensitively, and rooted through his pockets for 'goods'. A shiny key-shaped possession could be seen by Avery in-hand. He inserted the key, and walked to the boot, where he later shoved the bag into. Next you know, he makes a wild escape. The sound of the van being driven away gave Avery some strange feeling of nostalgia. The first thing she thought was that he was definitely up to something. There's not a chance he was some kind of delivery man at two-in-the-morning. Secondly, she assumed he was a robber and was committing a dreadful crime. She was right.
The following morning, after Avery had finally gone to sleep; after the violent annoyance of the rain had made its exit, a newspaper was dropped in front of her front door. Being a member of the close-knit family she was, she grabbed it and went to announce what it was to her older sister, Becky, and her friend, who had just got over to their house, Regina.
'PUPPIES REPORTED MISSING. LAST NIGHT, 7 PUPPIES, ALL BORN RECENTLY, WERE NOT AT HOME AT 5 DOWNING STREET WHEN HOUSE-OWNER, ERIN COOPER, LOOKED FOR THEM'.
Avery couldn't swallow, her voice taken away. She stared into mid-air, whilst passing the newspaper for Becky and Regina to see.
"That's 3 houses away from us!" exclaimed Becky, "what are we supposed to do?"
Quick-thinking, Avery's conscience hit back.
"Investigate." Regina's eyebrows descended and her head leant to the side. Becky, on the other hand, nodded, stood up, and put on her coat.
"What are you waiting for, then? Hurry up before it's too late!" The raincoats were obtained by the three girls, and off they headed to 5 Downing Street.
Avery knocked politely on the front-door, expecting to see someone answer. The girls stood there, awkwardly, just before Becky pounded angrily. The door handle sank down to the ground, and the door creakily opened. Erin Cooper looked dreadful: her hair looked like a rat's nest! She looked severely ill, and her pale, yellowy face, really said something.
"Come on in, but if this has anything to do with the puppies, I only have a bit of information." The group took a seat at the dining table.
"So, what breed of dog were they? What colour were they? Did they ha-"
"He went left. He went away. The dogs are easily recognised. 7 golden retrievers, all bright yellow. Except one, Lola, she's white and has splodges of yellow."
"Thank you, we didn't mean to interrupt." said Regina. Off they went, to the left of Downing Street.
They did not realise how hard this was going to be. They did not know about Oxford Way until now, and only Becky had been down there one time. There were huge puddles crowding the brick road, and many shops. Some shops had been closed by their owner, some hadn't. First, they checked 'Periwinkle Bridge' under and over, examining for any traces. There was nothing, so they headed back, south. Becky non-stop complained about how she should be the leader, but Regina and Avery took no notice. Next stop, Gavin's Car Dealership. Maybe they could get some important data from here.
"Has anyone recently purchased a blue van from here?" questioned Avery.
"Yes, let me check for his name." replied Gavin. The girls stood there, excitedly, knowing they had found something. Gavin walked back with a huge stack of files.
"Hmm, let me see... not this... not that... ah! Here we are, Kurt Johnson. He purchased this car 2 weeks ago, not sure why you would really need this information, but so be it. Have a lovely day."
"Thank you! Better get going now." said Avery, with a quick chuckle.
Kurt Johnson? That name did not sound familiar to anyone. The girls argued, complained, and discussed who this man could be. That was right before Becky caught sight of a man with several wriggly puppies walking into an Adoption Centre for dogs. Becky sprinted ahead and wafted her hands as if to say 'come on'. The other two followed along.
"What is it, Rebecca? Why are you running from us?" asked Regina.
"Stop complaining and you'll see!" Becky sounded angry but desperate. So politely, Regina zipped her mouth.
"Right, I want you all to be prepared, I think I found him. Don't say anything. Act normal." Avery got the point, whilst Regina had no clue what was going on.
"Found who?" "Be quiet!" The man who Becky has suspicion of turned around with a confused look on his face.
"Gina, maybe you're right. I think we got the wrong person." said Becky. She got up and walked to the door, with the other girls treading along. Just as Becky got her sweaty finger tips on the door, this is what she heard.
"And your name is?" "Kurt Johnson."
Becky turned faster than ever, and pushed both Avery and Regina out of her way.
"I knew it! You're the man who stole them puppies and I caught you." And so the man attempted to flea and make a run for it, but the police were already onto him.
HD
7 January 2021
My phone was beeping when I woke up, I checked the message on the group WhatsApp. Oliver and Henry's puppies had been stolen !!
The puppies are really loved by Oliver and Henry and they are only a few months old. I decided I would try and find out who the thief could be.
I quickly got dressed and decided to wear black tracksuit bottoms and hoodie so I would not be noticed. I decided to first visit Oliver's house round the corner to look for clues on who could have stolen his puppy. At the end of their paved drive a grey beret style hat had been dropped. I took a photograph on my phone and ran 5 minutes down the road to Henry's house. There was a path down the side of the house and I noticed a pair of glasses glistening in the sun.
I suddenly thought of Mr Jeremy who owned the corner shop and always wore a grey beret and wore glasses. I decided to walk to the shop to buy some sweets and investigate. Behind the counter stood Mr Jeremy with no hat and struggling to read his newspaper. "Are you ok Mr Jeremy ? " I asked , he quietly leaned over the counter and said he'd lost his glasses last night !!
I calmly walked out of the corner shop and called the police from the my mobile. I was later contacted by the police and was told the 2 puppies had been found safe and sound asleep under the shop counter. My job was done !!!
Daisy W
8 January 2021
Characters: Calvin, Dexter, Olivia and Hannah.
One early winters morning, Calvin, Dexter, Olivia and Hannah decided to help out the police with a new case, they love doing detective cases and this was one of them. In the village several puppies have been stolen over the past few nights. They went to a security shop were they sold CCTV cameras, we bought quite a few. To see who this person was we put them up all around the village. They wondered around the village looking for clues. The first clue we found was a piece of paper that said, " don't look for me but i am in the church hiding somewhere. We're getting somewhere here," said Olivia excitedly. We started to walk to the church when we found another clue which was a piece of clothing with black and white stripes on it and a ball of cat fluff all attached to barb wire, we took them off and kept them for help. Once we were at the church we split up to try and find this man we did not find anything and it was getting late so we went home and maybe we would have better luck for tomorrow.
The next day we looked in the houses that have been burgled and we found a black footprint we managed to trace who this person was and it was a man named Vincent Magolfof we found all of the puppies and returned them back to their owners and Vincent was sent to prison for a long time. The team have done it again they all shouted in joy!
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
A great way to start with speech SC :) Great use of time connectives like meanwhile. Your noun phrases make your story more interesting. Very good use of genre features too. Well done SC 5DJs
HB
8 January 2021
Investigator: Head of FBI Lucy 09739, Crime: Burglary at Mohamed Salah‘s mansion, Date: 24/12/2020 Christmas Eve
It was a cold winters night as the ghost of Mr Hyde was seen looming the streets of New York. A man, who goes by the name Mr Scrooge, saw Hyde walking up the walls using suction cups of Sir Mohammed Salah’s beautiful mansion in central New York. Shortly after, he glided out of the front door with his hands full of jewellery, but not just that, Salah’s pride possession, his Liverpool champions league shirt. Meanwhile, Lucy came storming out of the centre. Minutes later Lucy came back to the FBI centre after having no luck of finding the mysterious ghost. Now turning back with a crew, Lucy went to search again, with an intentional scream, PC Chris shouted to stop the FBI vehicle. Shortly after, the vehicle arrived at their destination and they found themselves at the tallest skyscraper in New York, it was over towering all 5 of them. They quickly started to count how many windows in a-row, They was up to the fifty-sixth row when the started to see a green glow of light in the pitch black tower. It looked like a human but at the same time a ghost. All of a sudden they realised that it was the ghost of Hyde. They ran inside the building but suddenly fell down a booby-trap. Worried that there could be more they strolled up on a man. He muttered “Hi my name is Dr Zeus” They replied back saying “Hi we are the FBI and we are looking for the ghost of Hyde, can you help us at all?” “Well no!” he replied “but I have seen this Hyde before. He was in this very room until he made me drink this potion, it knocked me out but I advise you to keep searching in this skyscraper. Also, I have a maid who has been acting very suspicious lately. That is all the advice I have for you”.
Shortly after, the door was opened by the maid, she was acting very suspicious so the crew went to inspect her room. Outside her room, in the corridor, there was bowl of fruit. At the side of the bowl of fruit stood a picture of her with medals on, she won the gymnastics competition in London a year ago. They looked inside the bowl looking for a clue, there was a clue ( suction cups ). Lucy yelled “ why would the maid need suction cups when she is a gymnast. We caught him it was Dr Zeus. The case was solved.
HB
8 January 2021
Investigator: Head of FBI Lucy 09739, Crime: Burglary at Mohamed Salah‘s mansion, Date: 24/12/2020 Christmas Eve
It was a cold winters night as the ghost of Mr Hyde was seen looming the streets of New York. A man, who goes by the name Mr Scrooge, saw Hyde walking up the walls using suction cups of Sir Mohammed Salah’s beautiful mansion in central New York. Shortly after, he glided out of the front door with his hands full of jewellery, but not just that, Salah’s pride possession, his Liverpool champions league shirt. Meanwhile, Lucy came storming out of the centre. Minutes later Lucy came back to the FBI centre after having no luck of finding the mysterious ghost. Now turning back with a crew, Lucy went to search again, with an intentional scream, PC Chris shouted to stop the FBI vehicle. Shortly after, the vehicle arrived at their destination and they found themselves at the tallest skyscraper in New York, it was over towering all 5 of them. They quickly started to count how many windows in a-row, They was up to the fifty-sixth row when the started to see a green glow of light in the pitch black tower. It looked like a human but at the same time a ghost. All of a sudden they realised that it was the ghost of Hyde. They ran inside the building but suddenly fell down a booby-trap. Worried that there could be more they strolled up on a man. He muttered “Hi my name is Dr Zeus” They replied back saying “Hi we are the FBI and we are looking for the ghost of Hyde, can you help us at all?” “Well no!” he replied “but I have seen this Hyde before. He was in this very room until he made me drink this potion, it knocked me out but I advise you to keep searching in this skyscraper. Also, I have a maid who has been acting very suspicious lately. That is all the advice I have for you”.
Shortly after, the door was opened by the maid, she was acting very suspicious so the crew went to inspect her room. Outside her room, in the corridor, there was bowl of fruit. At the side of the bowl of fruit stood a picture of her with medals on, she won the gymnastics competition in London a year ago. They looked inside the bowl looking for a clue, there was a clue ( suction cups ). Lucy yelled “ why would the maid need suction cups when she is a gymnast. We caught him it was Dr Zeus. The case was solved.
LH
8 January 2021
Investigators: Josh, Oliver, Felicity and Grace.
Josh, Oliver, Felicity and Grace all split up into teams of two and put a poster in every-ones mailbox. The poster said: Missing puppies. Help us investigate this crime by meeting us at the town hall.
These posters made people furious and so the town came, but house number 23 didn't. This was suspicious.
whilst the town people looked around the neighbourhood for clues, me, Josh, Oliver, Felicity and Grace ran towards house number 23. We walked up to the door looking at the grass and BINGO, we saw what looked like dog poo, this gave us a clue. Grace knocked on the door and we heard a bark, a dog bark. The more we knocked the louder it got. A man was telling us to go away but in-fact we didn't go away, we stayed to find some more proof that he was the dog-napper. It got to the point were we gave up and left, but just as Oliver walked off we all heard more and more barks coming from a dark, creepy ally-way.
I noticed a shed that was rotten and damp. I ran towards the shed with the others following me. I opened the shed door and there they were, five puppies huddled together fearing for there life. Felicity tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped with fear. There stood a man, tall but old. Me and Grace picked up the puppies whilst Felicity rang the police. The man began to shout aggressive things and started to make a run for it. Josh and Olive ran after him and did a citizen arrest until the police came.
When the police arrived they thanked us for capturing the serial robber.
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
'Johnny J was a small boy from a small town with a big responsibility.' What a great opening sentence RMc! Effective use of brackets for parenthesis. I loved your ending -serves him right. I loved reading this. Great job. 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
Good use of a passive sentence LMc. It is a shame that I didn't have a full narrative story with a beginning (describing characters and setting) middle (developing the plot) and an ending (reveal).
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
Great characterisation ON in your opening. Brilliant use of features eg: suspects, clues Effective use of KS2 punctuation, including brackets. I loved the story ON - A very-well and imaginative plot. Keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Brilliant. Prize Box! IOU
ON.... How might you join these two clause using punctuation?
There has just been a dog robbery and no one witnessed it.
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
'It was a quiet night in Washington, but all was about to change.' had me hooked from the start ME. Excellent use of adverbials, inverted commas and capital letters. A really good plot. Well Done. 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
Lovely use of description Ab to set the scene. Effective use of KS2 punctuation at greater depth (key-shaped) and passive voice to make the journey interesting for the reader. Imaginative use of genre features: plot, suspects and clues. Did they get him in the end? Great blog Amy. Keep writing!!!! Prize Box IOU 5DJs
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
My phone was beeping when I woke up, I checked the message on the group WhatsApp. Oliver and Henry's puppies had been stolen !! A great way to grab your reader's interest HD. Effective use of adverbs, modal verbs and inverted commas :)
Very good use of genre features too HD. I enjoyed your story. Well done. Your writing is getting better and better. 5DJs
LH
8 January 2021
Investigators: Lilly (myself) Josh, Oliver, Felicity and Grace.
Josh, Oliver, Felicity and Grace split up into teams of two i decided to join the girls, and put posters in peoples mailbox. The poster said "Missing puppies , help us investigate this crime by meeting at the town hall"
These posters made people want to help find the missing puppies, so the whole town came to help, except house number 23, this came across as suspicious. Whilst the town people looked around the neighbourhood for clues, Josh, Oliver, Felicity, Grace and myself, walked towards house number 23. As we approached the door, to the right of us, looking at the grass, we saw what looked like dog poo, this was a clue that gave us some evidence. Grace knocked on the door and we heard barking from within the house. A voice came from within the house, and a man told us to go away but we stayed. It got to the point were we gave up and decided to look somewhere else for clues.
As we all walked away, we heard more barking coming from a dark, creepy ally-way. I noticed a shed, it was rotten and damp. I ran towards it with the others following. I opened the shed door, and there they were, five puppies huddled together fearing for there life. Felicity tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped with fear, there stood a tall and old man, glaring at us all with anger. He began to shout aggressively so whilst Grace and myself held the puppies, Felicity rang the police. It was then, when the man tried to make a run for it, so Josh and Oliver made a citizens arrest until the police arrived. The police thanked us for catching the man because he was a serial robber. and he was later sentenced to four years in prison.
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
Watch out for they swapping to we DW. A good detective story with evidence of genre features. Well done.
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
It was a cold winters night as the ghost of Mr Hyde was seen looming the streets of New York. A great start HB. Effective use of punctuation including hyphens. Good to see a passive sentence. Effective use of genre features. Well Done HB.
Mrs Beesley
8 January 2021
House 23 gave it away didn't they LH :) A great citizens arrest. well done for thinking about your genre features. Watch out for 'Me and Grace' - Grace and I.
Great effort. Keep up the great work :)