Can you use your best descriptive writing to write a story opener for this scene? Remember to include your key features and your challenge is to start every sentence either with an adverb, a verb or an adjective.
WAGOLL
Slowly, a girl named Hollie, walked through a creepy meadow. Scared, she stuttered toward a great big ladder that went through the clouds up into the sky. Quickly, Hollie grabbed the ladder and a few moments later she woke up in the clouds with nobody to be seen…
Crunching through the dry and deserted trench-like ditch, the yet to become explorer saw a long, twisty and thin ladder that was facing forward into the fog. Limping towards the ladder, the poor girl had to put a bandage on her leg and use a nearby stick as a walking aid. Through the thick mist, there was a glowing, mysterious orb. Out of nowhere, a loud creeeeeeeek echoed up above…
Tripping and stumbling, the young girl came down the passageway, the walls holding her in. Luckily for her, the fate behind her was slowly fading away as she came out of the mist to a rickety, very, very tall ladder. Hitching up her emergency backpack, which was, of course, on her back, she started to climb up this old thing. Unfortunately, there was something she didn’t know, that there wasn’t a top to this ladder…
Gasping for breath, the young girl was trekking between the mouldy walls.Lying before her, was the beaming sunset peeping through the misty air. Jabbing her walking stick into the earthy ground, she came to a halt. Windy steps suddenly appeared making a bridge for her to climb. Groaning heavily, the adventurous girl took the first step. Really slowly, she wobbled uncontrollably as her foot slipped between the gap. Dangling legs fell from the steps as the girl held on tightly. Terrible doom was creeping upon her…
THE LADDER
Trudging wearily along the filthy winding path, Emily, despite the sweat trickling down her forehead and tears stinging in her bloodshot eyes, was filled with hope, even though her limp bony body was screaming in agony. For the ladder hung tantalisingly close – she could almost feel the satisfaction of reaching the top… Towering over Emily like skyscrapers, the looming wall blocked her from the outside world and the fact that it opened up towards the sky made it even more nauseating. An eerie, bleak haze swam around Emily, making her dizzy, and limiting her sight. Somehow, someway, she would battle her way through this treacherous journey…
Cautiously, the girl edged forward, not knowing what fate had in store for her. Looking up at the dark gloomy sky, she shivered. Eerily, the ravens squawked beneath the wooden stair case leading up to nowhere. The fog parted, the air became damp, time stood still. Rapidly her heart beat. Now the walls seemed to tower even higher, will she ever make it?
Sneaking silently across the puny bridge, the old lady was suffering to escape the dreadful wrath of the storm, the bridge look as if it could shatter at any moment. A heavy fall of rain and hail had occurred she needed to find shelter but first she had to remove herself out of site from the storm. LIGHTNING STRUCK. Tears running down her face she knew there was nothing left to give, her hands wear glacial she had no hope left inside. The southerly storm tear all the rocks down until the lady was trapped… Yelling, screaming no one was there to help. bolts are crashing down from the vexed sky ripping anyone or anything that gets in its way. An eerie sound echoed through the pitch-black sky. the bridge was shot during the wind-storm. slowly she look at the bridge and thought to herself. “I am TRAPPED!”
Slowly the little girl began her treacherous journey along the long thin ladder. Banging her walking stick into the ground she looked up to see the gloomy sky. Quickly wanting to get it over and done with she trekked right up to the ladder. Twisting as she walked on to it kept wobbling about. Drifting she walked across the large ladder she had to hike up. Twenty, seconds later she had disappeared but where to?
Shaking, she edged towards the start of the twisty rope ladder, dust and sweat coating her fingers. Silently, her instinct told her not to move too quickly, but she felt as if the walls were closing in on her. Tentatively touching the rope ladder, she drew her hand back as rocks cascaded before her, showering her with dust and grime. Glancing around her, she realized she had no other option but to go for it so she set off on her courageous journey. Burning, she could feel the burning of a blaze towering before her! Terrified, she spun round to go back, but the land behind her had gone….
Comments
Francesca Grady
11 September 2018
Trekking towards the twisty ladder, Sophie struggled for air. Solid walls of unbreakable stone towered before her. Slowly she clambered towards her doom. Thick dust covered the sun. Bravely trying to get away from her troublesome past Sophie realised something – she didn’t have a clue where she was going! Drifting into the unknown, she became sweatier. RISING PULSE. QUICK BREATHS. DRIPING SWEAT. Quickly, Sophie fell to her doom…
Nathan D
12 September 2018
Tripping and stumbling, the girl slowly and carefully walked up the hill. Towering above her, the massive stone walls blocked her in to her inevitable fate. Limping like a hurt dog, she dug her stick in the ground again and again and again dragging herself up the hill towards the rickety old ladder. The girl used an old cloth to bandage up her broken leg.
Mrs Beesley
13 September 2018
Super Francesca, you mastered it. Look at the positive effect it has on your descriptive writing. Prize Box :)
Mrs Beesley
13 September 2018
You nearly did it Nathan! Look at your last sentence. Can you revise it?
Eithne Helm
15 September 2018
Limping bravely, a girl named Emma advanced towards the mysterious looking mist. Looming above her, the crumbling walls were closing in on her like a tiger ready to pounce on its’ pray. Far in the distance, an odd looking light came into sight. Appearing before her, Emma could see a mysterious ladder that looked like train tracks but she could not see or hear a single train. Stopping in her tracks, Emma had her gasmask ready to pull over her face. Worried about what would lie ahead of her, Emma started her journey along the train tracks.
RS
7 January 2020
As i walked through the gloomy swamp the sounds of flies flooded my ears the sound of trees swishing and water swaying was drowning it out.When i finally made it out of the wood the light of the son was all i needed to carry on unlike the swamp this area was amazing it seemed like something out of a book,the water was warm and bubbly like a warm bath the sun made it feel like Spain and the trees where like someone was flapping a leaf over you, it was like paridise , that's when it all collapsed...
Crazy Gazelle CG
7 January 2020
Clambering up the course, rugged pathway young Angela tripped over an exposed tree root. Angrily, she whipped a splodge of mud off her face (for the third time today). Starring over the erie depths of Saltram Valley she thought about how much was ahead. The challenges she’d face. Towering, the twin mountains loomed over the fog and mist below her. Unconsciously she blinked. Reaching across the gorge, a flimsy bridge hug suspended mid-air. Surprisingly, she was wrong as the bridge revealed to be a ladder stretching horizontally towards a cabin half way up Mount Scandrett. Glowing, a single lamp illuminated the whole valley. Cautiously, she took her first step onto the ladder...
@lfie :o
7 January 2020
Finally after two hours,Hanna reached the top of devils mountain.There was a mystery of who ever went up never came down no one knew what happened to the people who went up there not even mountain rescuers could find them.Suddenly, Hanna heard a dark evil voice "go up it is your DESTINY!."
"what?..who's there?"demanded Hanna.Hanna went up thinning she was hallucinating. "Hanna wake up were leaving in half an hour" said Hanna's mum.
"What where are we going?"asked Hanna.
"devils mountain!"answered Hanna's mum.
EB :)
9 January 2020
As the young girl edged towards the spiralling ladder, sudden fear flew over her. The memories of her childhood flooded into her head. Mum, Dad, Tony all felt like blurry images she couldn't make out. She didn't know what was up that ladder but something made her do what she did. She stumbled towards the sets of wooden planks. With her heart thumping in her chest and shaking hands she suddenly found herself high above the ground. Nothing was heard of her after that. All that was heard was a distant cry or yelp that echoed through the mountains.
LKP???????
9 January 2020
Grey and gloomy skies ahead and a twisty leader leading Ella to a path that she new she needed to take. hoping there was a rainbow at the other side with a walking stick alone to find her happy ever after ...
R:D
10 January 2020
Walking for days, Mia stumbled on a creaky, unstable ladder. It was too late too turn back now. Anxiously, she stepped on the first step- CRACK! A large piece of it fell down into the abyss below. Mia had no choice but to carry on, if she didn't they would find her. She carried on waking-CRACK! Once again a piece of the ladder fell but Mia came down with it...
NA :)
11 January 2020
On a cold dark day, cautiously, Ella slowly walked up the mountain. Not realising what was waiting above her. It was the ladder. The ladder is frightening. Up to five hundred feet tall, people say that they lose their breath only at one hundred feet! No one has ever reached the top. The ladder is wobbly and unstable and so high that it disappears into the smoke lit sky above. But, the question is, will Ella reach the top?
hi my name is jacr
11 January 2020
tripped and slipped down and chipped his hand he got up with a fright he had cut his hand and a couple day later he keys scratching the car’s when he tumbled into them and he Slowly, the old man tumbled between the car with his car went and tripped over the same spot at the same time of the bitter night.
tictictic toktoktok hr
11 January 2020
Slowly, the little boy walked towards the horrible teacher’s office. Banging his feet against the floor he looks towards the terrifying door, that was dark and it was the teacher’s door. When he strolled up to the door he looked behind it and there was a……..
Lucas ^_^
11 January 2020
Slowly, the mysterious girl wandered up the spine-tingling alleyway. In the distance she spotted a spiraling ladder. She nervously strolled up to the blooming ladder and saw...
IB:)
11 January 2020
Suddenly, a girl named Ella came to a halt, and there in front of her eyes were a long twisted ladder so long that you couldn't even see the end of it. Puzzled, Ella didn't know what to do so many questions got stuck inside her head (How long is it? Where does it end? What is it? And more.) Nervously, Ella put one foot on the unsteady ladder one step at a time Ella kept ascending up the ladder until you couldn't even see her shoes. Where could Ella be now?...
IS
11 January 2020
Slowly, the little old lady trudged up the incessant path. Anxiously, she walked towards the winding ladder that led into the misty sky. Coldly, the wind blew. Bracing herself, the old lady had wrapped up as much as she could. Earlier she had put her black boots on t make it easier to walk up the hill and pulled on a red hat to keep her ears and face warm. Clutching on tight, the old lady clambered up the towering ladder. Gasping for breath, she reached the top of the ladder, above the clouds only to find her doom...
TM
11 January 2020
The girl carefully stared at the old, rope ladder that she had heard lots rumours about. She looked up, determined as ever she set one foot at a time up the ladder. She had heard of rumours of wealth and fortune, to lost civilisations stuck there; still she kept on climbing. She saw crowds of people heading her way frightened and shocked. She sped up, climbing the ladder faster. Sweating she looked up, she had made it to...
(@<_@) Ava E !!!
11 January 2020
The girl (Niko), stumbled to the ground head first. She looked up and everything looked as if it was closing in on her. She ran quickly towards this old, creeky ladder. Niko ran as if death was chasing her . After many stumbles and trips, Niko climbed so far she could near enough look above the clouds! Suddenly her hands caught scratches and the ladder snapped in half, bringing here with it ...
L.H
12 January 2020
Slowly, Maddie inched down the creaky, mysterious stairs. Every time she stepped the ladder creaked really loudly so it echoed. The echoes got louder. And louder. Until it snapped and the whole mysterious stairway shattered. Maddie was never to be seen again....
Keira
12 January 2020
Gazing up at the twisted ladder the young girl decided to climb it until she reached the top. Hanging on tightly she started to climb. The more she climbed the more the wind howled and whistled. All of a sudden there was a noise coming from the top of the ladder. Suddenly as she stared into the distance, the rest of the ladder was quickly falling. She tried to climb down but it was to late.
15a63ll3
12 January 2020
THE LADDER
Slowly the poor old woman trudged through the narrow ever lasting gorge. Gently she stepped ever closer towards the twisted cloudy ladder. Deep down she knew there was danger ahead, but Dora had to scale the ladder as the life of her daughter was in danger...
kr???????t?f????
12 January 2020
Tripping and stumbling, the sad l girl slowly and carefully walked across the old unstabeld bridge . the little girl was getting anxious step by step not knowing what was following her. The planks were started snaping and SNAP she fell with the plank into the dark abyss …
H & L*
12 January 2020
Cautiously, as the old woman said goodbye to her old life, she came out of the cold, dark tunnel. Gradually walking through the fog, she could see what she had been searching for. The ancient yet mysterious ladder, that led to her knew life, curled up through the haze. Looking ahead, it was just as she was told, although its atmosphere was murky with the mist, she found peace in knowing where she was heading. She paused, took a deep breath, looked through the fog and took her next step, which was to be on the crocked, old, twisted ladder to her destination.
JH :/
12 January 2020
Wearily, Maria stumbled through the large, deep canyon. she had been lost for days. Suddenly, she noticed light ahead of her. What is that? she thought. Jumping for joy, Maria realised it was a way out. Her walk became quicker.
Abruptly, she stopped, the ground was shaking. She looked behind her and she could see the stones starting to crack. Worryingly, she heard a big bang, Maria knew it was a land slide.
Running quickly, Maria spotted the ladder which was weaving through the mist. Bravely, she took the first step...
CH :)
12 January 2020
Slowly, Mila grabbed the old, wooden ladder and started to climb. Just as she was about to reach the top, her foot slipped. She was hanging on to the ladder by her backpack. SNAP! The ladder fell and she fell with it...
Lol@ :)
12 January 2020
Annie tripped and stumbled with her injured leg and her long crooked stick down the overgrown, dusty path which was shadowed by the tall, towering crumbly brick walls. The mysterious twisted ladders lead through the dark, daunting mist. She felt terrified and curious about what was going to happen next.
Hazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzza v_v
13 January 2020
One day, the young brown haired girl was stamping up the worn-out alleyway. suddenly, she noticed a spooky ladder. Going to a mysterious land. So she strolled up to the dark ladder and...
hs :)
13 January 2020
Slowly, a girl named Hollie, walked through a creepy meadow. Scared, she stuttered toward a great big ladder that went through the clouds up into the sky. Quickly, Hollie grabbed the ladder and climbed saw the walls. Now the walls seemed to tower even higher, will she ever make it?
lOgAn
13 January 2020
slowly,climbing up the creaky old ladder i heard loud creeks what echo it was really loud. anxiously i did not know what was at the top of the ladders.Twisting and turning upwards,i did not know to carry on up to the top of them i was confused .
Corey_gta_ledgend
13 January 2020
Slowly walking up the daunting old ladder a young girl Heared some time of noise coming from ahead it was almost like the ladder was about to just go SNAP. Sometimes it would even go upside down and then one day it snapped and she was hanging on by one piece of thread but she was to heavy and pop the string went down and she went with it.
js
13 January 2020
slowly, the girl climbed onto the old creaky ladder. suddenly, the girl heard slow quiet footsteps there were getting louder louder and louder.
There were creeks in the ladder and it sometimes went upside down and all of a sudden the ladder snapped and she was hanging on by a thread .The girl carefully climbed up it but it fell and she went down with it...
flollow me on insta aceb_isyourgggggggggg
13 January 2020
slowly a girl named ava climbed up the creacky old ladder that apeard in a mist of smoke .Slowly approaching the old wrigely ladder the girl walked anxiously she couldn't see because of the thick mist and large walls at either side of her.
JFISH
13 January 2020
slowly walking up the creaky old ladder, the young girl heard crocodiles under the ladder that was spiralling into the abyss, The wind was howling like a like a wolf.her knees were shaking she had a long way to go she looked down at the river the river was rushing down very fast the girl got really scared the girl was half way now the rest of the way was in the fog CRACK BANG the hole thing smashed down into the river and she went with it
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
You need to start each sentence with either an adverb, adjective or verb. What could you replace your original words with RS? Overall, this will enhance your writing and the experience of your reader. Thank you for contributing to the blog.
Excellent CG! Excellent choice of verbs, adverbs and adjectives. Clever boy! See the effect it has on your writing? Well done :) Prize Box!
Well done ACT. Can you try and all of your sentences with a variety of adjectives, adverbs and verbs?
You nearly did it EB! Look at your sentences. Can you revise it?
A tricky task LKP. Did you manage to start all of your sentences with either an adverb, verb or adjective?
Did you manage to start each sentence with an adverb, adjective or verb RD?
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
NA, look at this again. Start each sentence with a verb, adjective or adverb.
Great effort JR. remember your punctuation.
Try again HR. Each sentence must start with an adverb, verb or adjective.
You nearly did it LT! Look at your sentences. Can you revise it? Please write to a greater length.
A tricky task IB. Great effort. Edit and revise to see if you started all of your sentences with either an adverb, verb or adjective? Prize Box!
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
An excellent description IS. Can you see the impact that this has on your writing? A super blog. Prize Box :)
Great effort TM. Can you replace 'she' in your opening with a variety of adverbs, verbs and adjectives?
Great to see your blog AE! Look again and see if you can enhance your opening by starting with a variety of adverbs, verbs and adjectives?
MRS BEESLEY
19 January 2020
Well done LH. Can you vary your sentence starters by using and adverb, verb or adjective?
Great use of adverbs, verbs and adjectives in your first couple of sentences KM. Can you continue this throughout the piece?
Super work IR you did it! I hope that you can use this approach in your writing. Prize Box :)
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
A good try KW. Have you used an adjective, adverb or verb at the start of each of your sentences?
Super HL, you mastered it. Look at the positive effect it has on your descriptive writing. Prize Box :)
A super blog JH which fulfils the objective. Excellent use of commas for clarity too. Perhaps you could utilise this approach in your writing. Prize Box :)
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
Good try CH, you nearly did it. Can you write to a greater length?
You need to start each sentence with either an adverb, adjective or verb. What could you replace your original words with LA? Overall, this will enhance your writing and the experience of your reader. Thank you for contributing to the blog.
You need to start each sentence with either an adverb, adjective or verb. What could you replace your original words with HMc? Overall, this will enhance your writing and the experience of your reader. Thank you for contributing to the blog.
Your best blog yet HS. You achieved the objective! Prize Box :)
Excellent LD. Remember your punctuation. 3DJs
Mrs Beesley
19 January 2020
Good effort CS. Remember your punctuation.
Try again JS. Remember to use an adverb, adjective or verb to start each sentence.
Good use of 'slowly' AB. Can you vary your sentence starters?
Excellent effort JF. You nearly did it. Don't forget your punctuation. 3DJs
RS :0
15 October 2020
Slowly Amelie walked though the dark unbreakable walls. Turning the corner she saw a spindle, spiral ladder. Using her stick to hold her up, she stepped on the old, wooden ladder. Tigers and lions growled for a feast underneath her she panicked and started to shake. Amelie started to climbed further up the ladder, trying to forget that there were hungry tigers and lions down beneath. Climbing into the thick mist Amelie dropped her stick and lost her grip on the ladder. She screamed loudly as she fell down to her doom...